You know I’m on hour seven of desperate school-avoiding procrastination when I check my OkCupid profile.
I haven’t checked OkCupid since like… December?
Which is terrible because I have this clever, sexy username that makes it seem like I respond a lot and am really into hooking up with OkCupid people but really the only messages I respond to are ones from people I am already friends with in real life anyway.
And now that more and more people I know — not good friends, but people I know from ~around~ — are on OkCupid, my profile seems increasingly embarassing.
Perhaps time to edit it!
“Hi, I’m not looking for a relationship, and am kind of terrified of casual sex, and am too anxious to respond to most messages, and often too depressed to leave the house, but I really would like to make out and dry hump after getting a coffee and flirting if that is something that interests you. Don’t ask me what my interests are because I have no idea what I am doing with my life and have lost interest in most activities. Also my entire body is covered with stretch marks so only message me if you are into that.”
